Friday, May 25, 2012

Riyo Chuchi Revisited

Prequel:The only thing better than Star Wars is Star Wars Revisited by Adywan. Check it out.

One of my first posts here was Riyo Chuchi - the blue Senator from Pandora. Wait, no, Pantora. Yeah. What is it with blue chicks and "Pan"? And who stole from who? Cameron from Lucas? More than likely, since Lucas is the Master.

Anyway, here are some more shots of her in her bluetiful poses. The top and this next one are from the Star Wars: The Clone Wars series where she originated. 

This version is by a fan artist, ArtNerdEm. You can check out her other work at her deviantART page by clicking her name. Although, chances are I'll be doing her as a featured artist at some point in the near (or far) future. So, if you want my take on her work before checking into it yourself, just stay here and wait patiently. And I think you can surf around my blue chicks for a while, if you put your mind to it.

Ha. I said "I'll be doing her."

So this one, this one is a little creepy. And hot. Which two things kind of go hand in hand, if you ask me. This was a fan edit by this guy jvcustoms. It's Riyo Chuchi! No, it's Mila Kunis! No, you're both right!

This is a morph of the two hotties. Riyo Chuchi "humanized" by morphing with a picture of the hot hot hottie Mila Kunis. And what do they have in common? They are both from a 70s era show that was made in the 21st century. Yeah. Star Wars. That 70s Show.

Eric Foreman would be proud.

Use the Force, Kelso. No, you idiot! Not like that!
When I was a kid, the only hooded Jedi were a whiny kid and an old man.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Hot-ified Celebrity - Angelina Jolie

Surprisingly, the role went to Zoe Saldana. And this is how Angelina showed up for the audition.
Ahhhhngelina Jolie. Seriously. Mrs. Smith? Gia? Lara Croft? Girl, Interrupted? She is one of the hottest of hot celebrities I ever laid my eyes on. And bless her for that. A woman who knows she's hot, and works it like a Ferengi works a client. It should come as no surprise that some industrious souls have taken it upon themselves to apply the only manner of digital enhancement that could possibly make this fantasy vixen hotter. And while there is some dreck out there, there is enough to really make you ask the question: would it be "Bluengelina Jolie", "Angelina Blue-lie", or "Cybluerg" (OK, maybe not the last. But come on.)

This actually makes her look like a columnist. Maybe a relationship advice host.

Dear Miss Cerulean,

My boyfriend just dumped me for a green tentacled bimbo. She's some sort of ballet dancer or something. He insists it doesn't have to do with her color but I don't really believe him.

Worst part is, I was considering joining the Order. My midichlorian count is off the charts and I have been having trouble making up my mind if I wanted to join or not.We've only dated a couple of months but I really thought we had something, and I don't know what I should do. Should I confront him about his colorism? And try to win him back?

- A

Dear A,

It's probably not her skin color, but her profession. Ballet dancers usually end up in seedy criminal mastermind lairs, so I don't think you should worry too much about this guy. We know he's only out for one thing - a piece of tails. He'll be in for a rude awakening when she leaves him for a Rodian. There are other snakes in the pit, dear. But I suggest you think about following your dream of becoming a Jedi - maybe a bit of "letting go" will help you with your feelings of envy.

- Miss Cerulean

This next picture of Angelina is her as though she were Pau Zoto Zhaan. This was apparently an effort at combining Angelina with other celebrities (or animals) as a contest over at worth1000. The other hottest one over there was Angelina as a giraffe. Yeah. A giraffe. Pau was the hottest though, for obvious reasons.

This next one was from a photo effect contest as well, at Freaking News.I find it eerily hot, disturbing, and electrifying all at once.

It's not so much the open view of her innards, her delectable metallic innards, or the fact that her face comes off. My worst thought is, what if her parts closed up at an, ahem, inopportune moment?


Which doesn't bode well for the next model of the Jolieator AI Cyborg Robot, below. Yeah - other than the tint being a bit off (green is beautiful too, though, so I'm fine with the frankenbot shade of green) - the designers of the mechanicist hottie below obviously took great pride in their work.

'Dandruff does not computer. Specimen perfect

So I guess my best use of my next 300 years salary will be to save up, save up, and save up while I fund cybernetic research so that science can catch up with this fan's vision.

That, and develop a stasis chamber or hydroponic sleep capsules so I can last the centuries til this technology is available at the local hardware store. ("Hey Bill, I need me a new socket connector for my robot maid Angelina. Got any in stock?")

And then my life will be complete.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Featured Artist - Jeff Simpson

"The Little Mermaid" Um. I'm wondering if this is from the story of the chick who caught Ariel in a net and gutted her.

 So this guy, Jeff Simpson, is on deviantART. I found most of his stuff to be amazing. Like, Hot amazing. But not just the chicks - his style is freaking cool and one of the more original I have seen in my traverses of the mountains of hot chick drawing meme artwork. His non-hot-chick artwork is as good or better.

Plus, he's a self deprecating type who has some great ("This Christmas sucked. So I drew someone having a worse Christmas than I'm having, to make me feel better." "SPEED PAINTING.IGNORE ME.") comments on his work.

Some of his best work reminds me of the covers for Sci-Fi pulps from the middle of the XXth Century. Which ain't a bad thing at all, but it left me with a problem. It was really tough picking out the hot chicks only. And I failed, cuz I've put more than one non-hot-chick-pic in the micks.Er, mix.

"Teeth in the Grass"

From the artist:


It's hard to ignore her, though. I mean, seriously. "Teeth" in the grass. Where? Leaves quite a bit to the imagination. And quite possibly for the best.

Although maybe it's referring to the teeth of two hot girls rolling around in the grass in front of this hot chick, and there's some missing picture that Jeff hasn't gotten around to sharing yet.

But would, if someone commissioned him to. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

"The Countess" is next on the roster. Not hot so much as striking. And I wonder if she just had some sushi that her purple friend at the top of the page caught. You know, I wonder if that's another painting we should have commissioned. But anyway, I dig on the form and dark content of this one.

Not as sexy, true, but you can imagine her coldly ordering the assassination of some political rival without a wince, and then comforting the poor victim's next of kin with genuine remorse on her face. Kind of like some of my exes.

And did I mention I really dig the storybook looking framing that's part of the picture?

Next piece of sushi, please.

This next is another spin-off blog in the works, I think. "Brown Chicks Underwater With Leaves For Clothing And Weird Planescape Hockey Mask Accoutrement Wielding Daggers Are Hot".'s the fight in the fish

Getting ready to kick some tail. Yeah, OK. I'm taking the fish metaphor a bit too far. But can you blame me? This is the guy with the fish fetish, not me. I'm just reporting. ;)

So anyway I promised 2 other pictures besides just hot chicks. There are more of them, so definitely check out his stuff on his deviantART page. But here's one of my faves in the meantime:

Darth Samurai

But I've decided, if BCAH ever decides to write a children's story, we want JEFF to do the illustrations. Because we don't believe in those namby pampy kid's books of today that are all sanitized and pure and full of smothering goodness. We want the old school Grimm, the Hans Christian Anderson, the REAL bedtime stories to scare the bejesus out of kids so they behave better.

And this would be our banner villain. Or maybe good guy. Not really sure. But whatever Jeff Daniels can draw, he can draw hot blue chicks.

"Sinker" ....(I hardly know her...)
So that about wraps up our post for this months Featured Artist. I will leave you with my hands down favorite of his images, the 2nd one that isn't a hot chick. "My Daydream". This was me in school, but about a zillion times better than I could have ever drawn...

"The Adventures of Pillboy"

Friday, May 11, 2012

Zombie Lady

No, it's not Halloween. It's not a Horror Film Festival. It's ZOMBIE LADY, and her chronicles tell all about this mysterious green hottie. Hey now, I know what you're thinking - but she looks not a day over 200!

Follow her blog here.
Or her Facebook here.

Yeah. This is what I'm talking about.

Look at her lines. And her blotchy, wretched face.

A two-fer on the hot. Remember, this is a kid friendly blog.

So hot she glows.
What, are you prejudiced against zombies? Or old chicks? Cause this thousand year plus charmer can weasel her way into your heart. And then chomp on it, and rip it out through your shattered rib cage. How many women do you know that always say "You belong to me!"? Well, Zombie Lady fulfills that and then some.

I don't think I'm ready for kids yet...use protection!
Well, you belong to her until she does the zombie equivalent of pooping you out. Although just like most movies, you never see the zombies use the can. I wonder why that is? Think the viewers are too squeamish to see some natural functions?


Hope you enjoyed this week's hottie. And no, I'm not renaming this blog "Dead Chicks Are Hot". Hmmm....idea.....